Break A Leg

Had to post this straight from the Holy Moly website as i just choked on my own laughter when i read it.

From holymoly.co.uk:


Serial fantasist Heather Mills has been continuing her Stateside charm offensive by clumping out tangoes on ABC’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’; describing her occupation as ‘animal rights campaigner’.

Yes, that pays the bills, doesn’t it? Though she’s hardly likely to tell the truth: that her real occupation is tricking pensioners out of hard-earned money, like a ‘Watchdog’ con artist.

Nearly 25 million watched the greedy mono-ped and her partner (apparently they make a lovely tripod) scuff up the polished floor whilst shouting, “Yarr, me hearties.” Much to the delight of Heather, who once again proved that she still barely lives within shouting distance of Truth’s house.

She revealed on the programme that Sir Paul, in the middle of a messy divorce and with allegations still flowing like fine wine, sent flowers to his estranged wife to wish her luck on her performance.

Yeah, right.

Technically, Peggy, deadly nightshade is a fungus, not a flower.

NOW THAT is the funniest thing i've read in ages. I'm claiming all of it as my own soon, coming to a dinner party near you as my repertoire...