I can't see anything he can do well, but he's doing lots of other stuff. If you can take your eyes off the groin you have more will power than me.
27.10.06
21.10.06
This Shit Is Harsh.
The Faces Of Meth.
Click on it to seewhat Crystal Meth can do for you. From what i can see, apart from the obvious, you also start to make weird hairstyle choices.
Click on it to seewhat Crystal Meth can do for you. From what i can see, apart from the obvious, you also start to make weird hairstyle choices.
Fidel & I Are Playing Tonight.
We have a new DJ starting with us too, called DJ Soul Benet.
He's amazing and will be playing the New Heavies Lounge from 12.30 till 2.30. You should check out his myspace here
It'll be a hootenanny! We are the best.
So anyway I Enjoyed Ibiza....
...It was truly amazing. I'm not normally one for that silly stuff but it was truly a magical island. I get why everyone's been going on at me (especially a Mr. Graham) to go there, but i did even better than that - I PLAYED THERE! Hanging out with the biggest DJs in the world, watching them spin, and realising i am better than them really did things for my self confidence. As you can see from the picture below, i wasn't afraid to show myself off after that.
As i say, iRock & iRoll.
20.10.06
It's All Over For You Honey.
I love it when she decides to lash out at the camera, with her kooch out. Silly woman.
THIS IS MAJOR!
A news broadcast that takes a turn for the worst. This is so funny i almost choked! And the presenters in the studio don't give a fuck.
11.10.06
Alan Carr
Right then, i've gone a bit nuts. I seem to have devoted my entire to blog to a comedian called Alan Carr. Below is example after example of his work, i couldn't stop. It's just that he's so funny, every single time i see him on television (which as you may know is virtually never anyway since i avoid that hideous waste of time at all costs usually), or when i read an interview of his, he will always say something that makes me cry with laughter.
He's gayer than the day is long, he's Marvin Gaye.
Well, no, he's Alan Carr.
Please excuse the terrible filming on this one, but it's worth it i promise.
Now here he is with:
He's gayer than the day is long, he's Marvin Gaye.
Well, no, he's Alan Carr.
Please excuse the terrible filming on this one, but it's worth it i promise.
Now here he is with:
10.10.06
..With Girls Aloud
I fancy the blonde one, she is fit.
Perhaps not in the lycra though. Ah what the hell.
Perhaps not in the lycra though. Ah what the hell.
9.10.06
30.9.06
This Week I Will Be Mostly....
..Partying my nuts off in Ibiza. I'm off there for the closing parties and yes, i'm playing there too. That's how major i am!
My specially selected outfit for my night of nights (the final DC10 Party ever) will be:
So no posting till Friday next week. Till then, try to avoid wearing cycling shorts people, not even for sexual games.
iRock & iRoll.
Big Kiss X
OHMYFUCKINGGODTHISISMAJOR!!!!!!
This is one of the most major things i've ever posted.
It's EXACTLY how i imagined it, but with more coke involved.
Ladies & Gentlemen, Naomi Campbell Beats Her Assistant.
It's EXACTLY how i imagined it, but with more coke involved.
Ladies & Gentlemen, Naomi Campbell Beats Her Assistant.
28.9.06
That's My Girl.
She's too major sometimes, just sometimes. All that kids friends are going to want to bang his mother, i bet he'll turn out weird. Or gay.
27.9.06
25.9.06
This Is Wicked!
This one goes out to L7!
Karen Black & L7 perform 'Bang Bang', and it's hilarious. I bet all of them have normal jobs now, and bake pies for their husbands after sending the kids off to school. Riot girls, what a load of bullshit!
Karen Black & L7 perform 'Bang Bang', and it's hilarious. I bet all of them have normal jobs now, and bake pies for their husbands after sending the kids off to school. Riot girls, what a load of bullshit!
Heavy Night
You know when you've been out on a massive night with all your friends, you get everyone back to your place for an inpromptu party, and a camera comes out? Well the next time that happens to me, i'm going to do this.
Me As A Child Star?
There's so much that's wrong about this video, right till the end.
I am going to play that track out though.
I am going to play that track out though.
21.9.06
My Friend Is Wondering How To Tell His Parents....
....That he's got a girl pregnant that he hardly knows. I suggested doing this first, then telling them.
God I Love Having This Blog!
This video has just made me really laugh.
At first i thought it might be a prank, but it's real. I don't know why this event or poor-formance exist, but the fact that it does has made me laugh.
As a side line, i didn't look that much older than this boy when i first went to a nightclub (Strawberry Sundae - Drury Lane London). I'm sure i don't look a day older than i did then. I'm sure.
At first i thought it might be a prank, but it's real. I don't know why this event or poor-formance exist, but the fact that it does has made me laugh.
As a side line, i didn't look that much older than this boy when i first went to a nightclub (Strawberry Sundae - Drury Lane London). I'm sure i don't look a day older than i did then. I'm sure.
20.9.06
Yes Fidel's Put On A Few Pounds...
....So get over it already!
Fidel the early years:
I don't see a single difference, you bitches.
15.9.06
Lindsay's Kootch -- AGAIN!
She MUST be needing publicity for something. Or she's just more comfortable when there's nothing covering her over-used kootch. Jesus i wouldn't go there, it would probably bite your leg off.
Interestingly, the bag in her hand is from a party i went to on Sunday, and i did indeed see her. Actually, that wasn't that interesting really was it?
I predict she will look like this in her Winter Years.
13.9.06
HELP A LONDON DJ!
Ok so i'm really sorry i took an unannounced break from blogging, but i'm back now with some bloody blinders below, so could you do something for me?
I need as many people to vote for me as possible in the DJ Magazine Top 100 Djs poll. It's quite easy, just clink the link below and put my name as your favourite (name being Kris Di Angelis) , it asks you for your top 5 but i suggest you name 4 other people who aren't DJs for this to work truly in my favour.
It's only 2 mins of your time, but it will make the world of difference to me. If you wanna check out my myspace to see if i'm good enough click here
I hope my blog brings you regular joy, now give me some back please!
I need as many people to vote for me as possible in the DJ Magazine Top 100 Djs poll. It's quite easy, just clink the link below and put my name as your favourite (name being Kris Di Angelis) , it asks you for your top 5 but i suggest you name 4 other people who aren't DJs for this to work truly in my favour.
It's only 2 mins of your time, but it will make the world of difference to me. If you wanna check out my myspace to see if i'm good enough click here
I hope my blog brings you regular joy, now give me some back please!
Lindsay Airs Out Her Kootch!
As per usual, her snatch is out and about. If you can't see it, click on it. It's like a chicken's neck.
Oh I Am Loving This Guy Sick!
It's not just everything about him, it's also all in the eyes..
Though clearly someone's had a word with him since - just look at the difference here:
Maybe he was pissed the first time around!
Though clearly someone's had a word with him since - just look at the difference here:
Maybe he was pissed the first time around!
Oh My God This Woman Is Insane!
I just can't believe this at all.
Squirrel Melts? She has a child with a gun for fuck's sake! See? You have to watch this. Loving that it's on the Huntress channel!
Squirrel Melts? She has a child with a gun for fuck's sake! See? You have to watch this. Loving that it's on the Huntress channel!
OK, THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!
This is the grocest thing i've ever posted.
It's Ukrainian, and i suggest you don't eat while you watch this (it is funny though!)
It's Ukrainian, and i suggest you don't eat while you watch this (it is funny though!)
I'm Having Ideas....
....About having a video that announces me before i come onto the decks to play, and then i find this!
It's Kris Di Angelis!
It's Kris Di Angelis!
Y'Know, People Ask Me...
...."How DID you get your gig at DTPM?".
The things i had to do to get that gig man.
The things i had to do to get that gig man.
Bush Joke
A traveler is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway.
Nothing is moving.
He notices a few men walking down the shoulder, when
suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's
happening?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped President Bush and are
asking for a $10 billion ransom -
otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline
and set him on fire.
We're going from car to car to take up a collection."
The driver asks, "On the average, how much is everyone
giving?"
"About a gallon."
Nothing is moving.
He notices a few men walking down the shoulder, when
suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's
happening?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped President Bush and are
asking for a $10 billion ransom -
otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline
and set him on fire.
We're going from car to car to take up a collection."
The driver asks, "On the average, how much is everyone
giving?"
"About a gallon."
Skippy
*A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.*
*They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
Nervousness and the broccoli casserole that she consumed. The gas pains
Almost made her eyes water. *
*Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets
Out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. *
*Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father
Looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and
Said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. *
*A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. * *
This
Time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer** rrrrrip.*
*
**The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" *
*Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" *
*A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. *
*This time she didn't even think about it.She let a fart rip that rivaled a
Freight train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit
Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.*
*They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
Nervousness and the broccoli casserole that she consumed. The gas pains
Almost made her eyes water. *
*Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets
Out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. *
*Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father
Looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and
Said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. *
*A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. * *
This
Time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer** rrrrrip.*
*
**The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" *
*Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" *
*A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. *
*This time she didn't even think about it.She let a fart rip that rivaled a
Freight train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit
Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
2.9.06
Yallbonics.
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a
grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a lang-
uage to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are
excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.
1) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I
sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
truck."
2) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother
from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."
3) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that
brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my
pickup truck."
4) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin'
and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
5) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw
retard at age 65."
6) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage
in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n,
n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
7) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We
Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
8) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that
bare rat cheer."
9) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unner-
stand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."
10) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a lang-
uage to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are
excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.
1) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I
sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
truck."
2) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother
from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."
3) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that
brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my
pickup truck."
4) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin'
and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
5) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw
retard at age 65."
6) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage
in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n,
n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
7) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We
Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
8) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that
bare rat cheer."
9) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unner-
stand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."
10) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
Would This Be The Disco Scrap Heap?
This is an odd one. I guess our UK equivalent would be Angie Brown and Kym Mazelle battling it out on Trisha. Anyway, take a look and what it really looks when time marches across your face, and takes your purse with it too.
29.8.06
Never In My Life...
...did i think i would get tips on how to dump someone from Michael Jackson. I must be getting older, and my dates are definately getting younger....
Hmmmm.
You know how sometimes you can think you look one way, but in reality you look completely different? Well in my mind, this is what i look like when i'm djing at my club night.
Funny the mind isn't it?
Funny the mind isn't it?
28.8.06
The Trouble With Wearing Trampy Clothes Is....
....That when you're hand eventually finds it's way back into the cookie jar, EVERYONE CAN SEE! What the fuck does she think she looks like? She must be a cunt mustn't she? How is it that no one around her feels comfortable enough to say "Er, babe, don't wear that."? Even i have friends that have been known to save me from embarrasing myself, course i don't speak to them anymore but anyways.
What. The. Fuck.
A selection.
Suffice to say, this one's mine. Apparantly part of me likes to do the making love and the other part likes to watch. I think he's onto something y'know.
It's the way he manages to find ways to sing the actual name of the sign. He's an early Eminem!
Suffice to say, this one's mine. Apparantly part of me likes to do the making love and the other part likes to watch. I think he's onto something y'know.
It's the way he manages to find ways to sing the actual name of the sign. He's an early Eminem!
Went Out On Friday Night....
....And had the most major time. Here's the video of what i got up to...
22.8.06
OHMYGOD!
This is insane.
And look at the square fags that are filming it, they laugh like opera singers and they can't even keep the camera on her. If it was me i'd just be thinking about the blogging of it obviously.
And look at the square fags that are filming it, they laugh like opera singers and they can't even keep the camera on her. If it was me i'd just be thinking about the blogging of it obviously.
21.8.06
An Oldie But Goodie.
Believe me, you might wanna watch the video below this one first (the one called "There are some pretty sick things on the internet"), you'll probably need some light relief. Go on, watch the one below first, then go to this one. Believe me it's for the best.
Mel B (Scary Spice) - How Do!
Mel B (Scary Spice) - How Do!
There Are Some Pretty Sick Things On The Internet...
....And then there's this piece of complete fucking wrongness. This truly is one of the wrongest things i've ever seen, but at the same time, i cry with laughter!
Do bear in mind though, that this is complete fucking wrongness.
Do bear in mind though, that this is complete fucking wrongness.
Supa Crystal!
HOW YOU KNOW YOUR MAN IS HOOKED ON CRYSTAL
1) He can fuck for hours but alas never seems to achieve and erection.
2) When you head over to his apartment for a romantic evening his door is slightly ajar and upon entering he is naked on his bed with his ass in the air getting plowed by 5-7 gentleman callers.
3) When you are fucking him it feels like you are fucking an open window.
4) He is missing he two front teeth.
5) He has picked out all his eyelashes and eyebrows and has glued them to an ashtray and has given it to you for a birthday gift. Your birthday was 6 months ago.
6) He swears Madonna is communicating to him through a filling in his mouth.
7) He has redecorated his apartment by boarding up all his windows with duct tape and cardboard boxes.
8) His breath smells like gasoline.
9) He has overdosed and died.
Happy Days!
1) He can fuck for hours but alas never seems to achieve and erection.
2) When you head over to his apartment for a romantic evening his door is slightly ajar and upon entering he is naked on his bed with his ass in the air getting plowed by 5-7 gentleman callers.
3) When you are fucking him it feels like you are fucking an open window.
4) He is missing he two front teeth.
5) He has picked out all his eyelashes and eyebrows and has glued them to an ashtray and has given it to you for a birthday gift. Your birthday was 6 months ago.
6) He swears Madonna is communicating to him through a filling in his mouth.
7) He has redecorated his apartment by boarding up all his windows with duct tape and cardboard boxes.
8) His breath smells like gasoline.
9) He has overdosed and died.
Happy Days!
So I Put 'Whine & Grine' Into YouTube....
....and this is what i got. I'm amazed this white guy is singing this song. His slight and false Jamaican twang, the fact that the lyrics are about ramming her hard, i just don't know how he seriously does it. If you've ever heard the Prince Buster original version you'll understand why i'm surprised the white middle classes have taken on this song, and then, turned it into a political song about Margarate Thatcher!
Oh yes it's special alright.
Oh yes it's special alright.
Dutty Wine - Boy Style
Latino's want to redress the balance and show that they can do what everybody else has been doing for years too - claim black culture as their own.
It will start in one bedroom at a time.
It will start in one bedroom at a time.
Skeletor With A Mic.
This is hystyerical! Posh spice singing acapella with just 2 guitarists and countless hidden backing vocalists. Here she demonstrates how much she deserves no.1 records by sitting down the entire time (i remember her 'scary' counterpart doing the same thing as a performance for 'Word Up', shortly before her career hit the skids), singing through auto-tune (a studio based program that tunes up any vocal - remember Cher 'Believe' with that funny vocal effect? Well it doesn't always have to sound that harsh), rapping (i'm saying nothing) and allowing herself to be filmed from a side profile (a pig with fake tan).
I'm glad we live in a world where she at least can't shift records. All that money and her teeth are still inverted! There are two 'songs' in this performance, the second she wrote for David called Thanks for the Lifestyle (or I Owe You or something like that).
Pig in Shoes.
I'm glad we live in a world where she at least can't shift records. All that money and her teeth are still inverted! There are two 'songs' in this performance, the second she wrote for David called Thanks for the Lifestyle (or I Owe You or something like that).
Pig in Shoes.
18.8.06
Janet At Her Best.
Since Janet Jackson is about to release her weakest single to date, i thought i would reminisce about her when she was major. In her new video she looks ridiculous, but doesn't carry it off. In this video she at times looks the same, but somehow it doesn't matter.
It could be because her brother looks so much weirder, but i think it's because the video is amazing and still looks great today.
Michael & Janet Jackson - Scream
It could be because her brother looks so much weirder, but i think it's because the video is amazing and still looks great today.
Michael & Janet Jackson - Scream
Is It All Over My Face?
This a music video for the single All Over Your Face by Cazwell, the producer behind Amanda Lepore recent singles. He's not very good either as a producer or as a rapper, but for some reason i like this track. Sold it to ya? Ok then, Madame Lepore looks fierce in it.
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