30.5.07

My Christ!

Even by today's standards this took some doing!

I Miss The 60's.

I had red hair, i was a German national sensation.

Always...

....Ask someone you love before you put it in your mouth.

Wanker.

The virst short video is just a commercial for mtv, it's all about the second one that plays straight after.

Click here to see.

My New Favourite Boy Band.

Simply Major!

Oh Catherine...

Even SHE should know when to smile.


Unfortch.

Tards.

I love the word 'Tard'. I'm gonn amake 'Tard' happen in the UK.

You Tard!

It's All Over For You When....

....The best thing about your night was that you didn't shit the car.

Chillin Wit Ma Shims Innit!

Margarita Prakatan



Mamma Mia:



Hello:



And finally, New York New York:

Joan Rivers.

As i live and breathe....

Old People:



Julie Andrews:



Marriage (You graaaa and you take!):



Madonna (OH NO SHE DIDN'T!):



Jesus Freaks:



Gynaecologist:



Heather Mills-McCartney:



Faking an orgasm:



Gas:



Childbirth:



Raising her daughter:



And finally, Joan gives thanks:

29.5.07

I Love This!

It's the first funky Bollywood track i've personally ever heard, but honey it's all about the boots.

27.5.07

Donatella Versace



Versace Pockets.

Not what you think.

The Most Incredible Ad Ever.

Chanel No. 5

This is THE most beautiful advertising i've ever seen.




Then there's the Anna Nicole version....


Is This A Real Language?

My Girl Brenda.

Brenda For President!

26.5.07

New Kids On Wheels.

There are no words, but the "At Least I'm Not Gay" number is an interesting point of view. Think most people would in fact prefer to BE gay, than a 'New Kid'.

Take a look at what i mean. Bear in mind, that it's REALLY WRONG.

Fidel, In The Morning.

Pocahontas. As imagined by a Shim.

This is MAJOR.

25.5.07

Worst Rapper Ever!

This is just too major.

It's almost a party political broadcast.

Lady Sovereign! She Is Crap!

However, this is funny. She was bitching another girl Jentina, using the worst rapping ever, but the lyrics are quite funny.

Sad Old Stripper:



Well, here she is having a complete breakdown on stage in America. Is THIS seriously the best we have to export? She is beyond rubbish, and she was raised by wolves. I love the crowd swearing at her!

Paula Abdul - High Again!

Bitch is mash-up, again!

Paula Abdul's Trippin'

Posted May 22, 2007

Paula Abdul's latest incident: stumbling over her Chihuahua - tragic accident, or ploy to get more happy pills? You decide!

Who Are These People?

Wednesday 23rd May 2007. Soho, London. Couple oblivious to the fact that workers are filming them frollicking on their office rooftop. WHO ARE THEY?

I Wrote An Interview....

....With the DJ i play with at DTPM 'Nathan 6'. We're there this bank holiday Sunday.


Mother of the Year.

Keeper of the Crypt.

Michael Moore - Sicko, The Movie.

His new film is about the U.S. health care system. Looks major, and in a way makes me feel quite proud to be British. Y'see we don't charge people to care for them when they're unwell. I think that's a nice thing.

Trailer:



Sneak Peek:

The View.

Oh My God. This show used to be soooooooo dull, but it AIN'T NOW!

There is this complete idiot, let's call her The Idiot Queen, who i'm convinced was grown on a crystal by the American Republican Party, and she is on 'The View' arguing with Rosie O' Donnell.

Rosie is soooo major, the Idiot queen is a completely moronic cunt. Te great thing is though, that they argue on live American television. This show pisses all over the crappy English rip off 'Loose Women' - a show by UGLY ASS BITTER women, for UGLY ASS BITTER women (they bitch off Madonna quite a lot so you can imagine how i feel about them right?).

Anyway anyway anyway, here's what's been going on on 'The View':


A few weeks ago:

(FYI - How major does Ricki Lake look sitting there all quiet?)



I'm getting right into all this political stuff, here's more:




Watch as the Idiot Queen tries to see the 'list' so she can prepare her defenses, cheating bitch.




The Idiot Queen gets dissed by Alicia Silverstone:



On second thought, i feel for her a little. I think it's a little mean to blank her like that, i would still hug her. She's just a silly girl.

17.5.07

15.5.07

Bottom!

Star Wars Disco Baby!

This is major, in a way.

The funny thing is that i was asked to remix a Star Wars theme a few years ago for the launch of the last one. The project never went ahead in the end, but i would never have come up with this, a version which i actually think is a bit cool.

Sit On My D**K!

How rude!



If you're actually interested in buying one, click here

For Lukas.....



Joan Collins and Linda Evans, who recently toured the country in a play about feuding actresses which capitalized on the rocky relationship between their former small-screen personas Krystle Carrington and Alexis Colby, are apparently determined to squeeze every last drop of juice out of the rivalry. Collins is claiming Evans "roughed her up" to the point where she has needs physical therapy and says she has even filed an insurance report.

Collins_evqansSaid Collins' spokesman: "Joan ended the tour with a sprained knee, a scar on her hand and almost choked to death. Evans kicked Joan's hand so hard that she now has a permanent scar and cannot wear a ring on her right hand."

Evans' spokeswoman replied: "Joan Collins is the single most unprofessional actress working in Hollywood. Linda Evans hurting somebody? I find it unbelievable."

The play's producer claims that after Evans' foot touched Collins' hand during one performance Collins would no longer push the other actress: "Joan then refused to do it. She was afraid of it. So we had her push Linda with the end of a mop."

Aren't these the kinds of stories that are meant to fuel ticket sales before the show tours? In any case, here are a few reminders of their past efforts for you Dynasty fans.





This clip has to be the worst lighting i've ever seen on a celebrity.

The Thing About Scientology Is....

.....nope, can't think of a single thing to say about it. Other than it seems strange, and the people that practice it seem strange, and it breeds oddness around itself.

Take a look at what it did to a fine upstanding BBC Panorama reporter...


12.5.07

This Queen Is Gonna Win Eurovision!

She's major, there are so many key changes in this track, that i'm not sure the backing vocalist can handle them (you'll hear what i mean). Apparently the Ukrainian locals have been protesting against this drag queen representing them, as he is not the image they wish to portray.

They're probably right, they're much better off with the usual 'sex trafficking liggers' image they fought so hard to acheive.

Muppets.


Throwing Shade.

Maybe i smoke too much weed, but this is fucking cool man.

8.5.07

I Took A Photo Of My Last Gig...



....And to think i was playing my remix of 'Like A Virgin' at the time.

Major.

Sort It Out Gays!

Leather Queen!

Nancing about in his bedroom. This is typical of leather queens. Can't wait to get down to the Anvil!

Sharon Stone Sells Incontinence Pads.

What What (In The Butt)

Not sure if i've posted this before, as it's not new to me, but i'm posting it again just in case.

I LOVE THIS! It's so rubbish it's major.

Spot The Imposter!

This Is TV That I Want To See!

I've no idea who Weng Weng is, but he's rocking my world.

A Serious Moment.

Some facts for yo ass:

I Went To Take A Stand The Other Day.....

...I'd decided i'd had enough of it all. I just won't take it anymore! Everything i've seen, everything i've known, i simply won't take it anymore.




I am not a number, i am a member of the human race, a valid life form. I have much to offer, much to teach, and much more to learn.





So quit busting my hump you cunts yeah!






Peeeeeynus Power!

Posted this stuff before but the video was taken off line, well i found another one init! This has become massive on the net.

The Original:



My fave bit of this video is the huge cow sitting next to her saying that having listened to this speech, she's gonna be more watchful of men in the future. Why?!

The Remix:

Work Honey!

Work with your edible Anus honey! Work!

Little Bit Of Harmless Fun.

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures.
The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch.

"How did you end up with a peg leg?" he asks.

"I was swept overboard into a school of sharks," the pirate replies.
"As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit off my leg."

"Wow!" cries the sailor. "What about your hook?"

"Argh! An enemy hacked off my hand during a raid."

"Incredible! How'd you get the eye patch?"

"A seagull shit in my eye."

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?"

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

Me.....

....With my fierce back up bitches.

Campaign For Better Head!

Girls & Boys, look and learn, and learn it well! Click for full instructions.

So Paris Is Going Daaaahhhhhhn...

This little video should get you up to speed...