Stonewall.

One of THE best films ever made.

About the famous Stonewall riots of New York, the sixties i believe. However, the music is almost exclusively from the Shagri-las, one of the most major girls groups ever, and a primary inspiration behind Amy Winehouse's recent album. There were considered to be the coolest thing on the planet, their music was sooo cool, and so here's a bunch a drag queens performing it in the Stonewall movie.

"What's The Matter Harry?!"

French & Saunders did a Harry Potter Spoof, which a mere month ago provided me and 2 other friends with around 48 hours worth of comedy, in fact it's still going on strong...somehow the Maggie Smith character saying "What's the matter Harry?" became "Would you just PISS OFF HARRY!" in a scottish accent.

I just don't know, but whatever we were taking had acid in it, i know that much.

Part 1:



Part 2:



Part 3:



Part 4:

After Party Fight

More "Fuck You Huckabees!"

It's getting bigger and bigger!

The Original Lilly Tomlin/director feud:



The extra footage (even more major):



The Piss Take:



The Rap Version:

This Is Why Producers Should Not Try To Perform.

I mean love him as i do (well, we've at least established he's a minimum 2 trick pony), he's no performer. Performing your song is not begging the audience to buy your album while it's playing, nor is it looking blankly at the camera with nothing to say or do, and it definately isn't the audience of children looking bored, and i mean really bored, out of their developing minds.

But Nelly does strut up and down like her career depends on it, which if you think about it....

JLO NEEDS YOU!

Poor love, look at her!



The first thing i noticed was her razor sharp nose - she got nothin' left! I then noticed how even more ridiculous she is when she's singing in a foreign language. I assume this is what she would call a dramatic song, hence she's trying to act. I also assume she saying there's 'one' of something a lot. Oh, wait, then there's the ending....

Fierce!

My latest 'Shim' fascination (that's a she-him) is a transvestite comedienne called Kelly. Here's her song about Shoes. Meredith honey, this one's definitely for you...



Then from the same queen comes 'Muffins!'...



And then even more bizarely, comes a little girls recreation of said piece. I really don't know why, or how, but the kids are really into this tranny and keep redoing his pieces. Badly.

Praise Him!

Break A Leg

Had to post this straight from the Holy Moly website as i just choked on my own laughter when i read it.

From holymoly.co.uk:


Serial fantasist Heather Mills has been continuing her Stateside charm offensive by clumping out tangoes on ABC’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’; describing her occupation as ‘animal rights campaigner’.

Yes, that pays the bills, doesn’t it? Though she’s hardly likely to tell the truth: that her real occupation is tricking pensioners out of hard-earned money, like a ‘Watchdog’ con artist.

Nearly 25 million watched the greedy mono-ped and her partner (apparently they make a lovely tripod) scuff up the polished floor whilst shouting, “Yarr, me hearties.” Much to the delight of Heather, who once again proved that she still barely lives within shouting distance of Truth’s house.

She revealed on the programme that Sir Paul, in the middle of a messy divorce and with allegations still flowing like fine wine, sent flowers to his estranged wife to wish her luck on her performance.

Yeah, right.

Technically, Peggy, deadly nightshade is a fungus, not a flower.

NOW THAT is the funniest thing i've read in ages. I'm claiming all of it as my own soon, coming to a dinner party near you as my repertoire...

I Don't Particularly Feel Her Normally...

....But i have to admit this is one sexy shot. She looks damn fine in this picture. Just had to say, credit where credit's due and all that.

Oh My God.

Lilly Tomlin, one of my favourite actoress', being shouted at in the most horrible way by the director of a movie she was working on. This movie was 'I Heart Huckabees', and it was shit. I hope this director never works again, the cunt.

I have strong feelings for Lilly, i think she's wonderful.

I'm Crying With Laughter!

This is so funny.

Mad TV version of Jackass:



Part 2 - With some of the real cast of Jackass:



Major.

In Honour of A&F Opening This Week...

...And the wonderful feeling i'll get buying my underwear in the country i live in again, i thought i would post this. I'll be at the opening with my friend Johnny, laughing and pointing.

This video gets funnier and funnier.

Our Prime Minister.

Actually, although everyone in England seems to be sniggering, i actually think you can't deny this is probably the coolest thing a Prime Minister has ever done. Cut the guy some slack, it's fucking funny. Can you imagine Thatcher giving it "Am i bovvered?".

Laters yeah.

THIS IS FUCKED, LIKE, TOTALLY FUCKED.

I've posted this before i think, but i just saw it again and thought it deserved another outing, but it's fucking wrong. Do not eat while watching this.

I think this is the Dirty Sanchez boys.

Kylie IS George Michael!

May have posted this before, but it's cool anyway. Ya bastards.

Her Face Does Not Move!

Neither do her vocal chords by all accounts. I think today i'm hatin' on Kylie, as she's basically not very good is she? This is basically a rip off of Madonna yet again, her whole damn career has been about nothing else.

Anyway, watch this and see what i mean, though feel free to stop it as soon as you get bored. You'll miss nothing i can assure you.

If You Ever Wondered Why Madonna Is The Queen...

....You only had to look at the competition. In truth, there was none, as you will see from this clip. She doesn't even sing for fucks sake!




Apparently this moment from the tour was edited down on the video release, i've never heard of moments of a Madonna tour being edited out due to boredom.The bit where she gets the audience members on stage is hysterical, she doesn't even try to pronounce his name, and then whisks them off quickly so she can continue passing off aerobics as performance.

The sad thing is she's not much better now, she just does less. Oh and i've heard her new stuff, she won't be bothering the charts for long i can assure you.

I Played The Coolest Party The Other Night.

For the woman opening Bungalow 8 here in London. It was at a fabulous penthouse in Soho, and i recorded a little of it live which you can download by clicking the banner below. It's a cool mix of lounge sounds, funky little grooves, kind of what i call cocktail music.

Enjoy.

Facethoven

Suck My Tits!

Yeah! Suck my tits you cunts! Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh!

This bitch makes me laugh soooooooo much. That fucking awful jacket she's wearing, her tired make up, that expanse of synthetic hair, her false nails. Dolly Parton once said "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap". I feel i should inform her that it can indeed be achieved on a budget too.

I Don't Know.

Suck my tits!

It's her face that gets me. The glasses in particular.

Cheap yes....

....but then so are the shoes. The candle sets off the whole scene nicely - glad that someone decided to add that. My tits aren't as big as they were here, they're mainly just nipple now.

I Love The Fat Pictures!

If only fat people had that much attitude in front of the camera.

Oh. My. God.

Naturally you'd hand that man your child.

There's only person i've ever known to look like that, and he's dead now.

I could go after the hat but it's the only stable thing about him.

Oh No She Didn't.

God Bless America.

This fucking nutball is allowed to vote. That's why America is fucked.

Note the sincerity in her eyes.

Oh yeah, and she's wearing fuck ugly shoes.

Pretty Acurate So Far....

They both have annoying voices.

This Is So Major I Can't Breathe!

Miss Duval 2005 Prom.

Check Out Janet's Original Nose!

Miss Jackson if you're nasty is the little one in the middle that looks like Michael, her nose is the big flat thing in the center of her face. Where did that shit go? She probably had nasal lipo!

And as this is a poor-formance of the Jackson sisters, which one is Latoya then? I can't recognise her face at all, but she must be one of them.

Miss Gay Black Ohio vs Monique Green

The video falls out of time with the sound, but it corrects itself after a little while.

My Golden Girls.

This is the most major episode.

Larceny & Old Lace.

Sorry I've Not Posted In A While, However...

....It was not my fault at all! Blogger in all it's automated wisdome thought that my blog might be false, so the robots put it on hold and wouldn't let me in for all this time.

Well now i'm back i feel like this:

My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay.

This is what teenage boys are getting up to in their bedrooms when their parents are out. The world is fucked, like totally fucked. I'm gonna go out right now and get a fetish.

Is What It Is.

Shirley Q. Liquor

The most major act in America - though it's causing a lot of controversy - not least because he's actually white.

"How you durrin?"

X Rated Parrot

Not a drag queen, i mean it a real parrot.

White Trash Bags

Documentary about my early years.

The Burqa Band

I mean it. Seeing is believing. They are the next big thing i promise you.

The Path of Life - In Liquid Form.

Me And My Pimps Yeah.

No reason for posting this, just liked it. On the left is my DJ cohort Fidel, and on the right is another DJ i play with ad DTPM Mike Starr. That's it.

For Your Little Ones...

Our Lady of Perpetual Motion...

...is at it again. Interesting that no sooner had Madonna produced her own collection for H & M then Kylie, of course, does their beachwear line following it. I swear to God if Madonna were to die, Kylie would throw herself off a cliff.

Anyhoo, this ad is of course amazing - not least because The Only One That Matters has directed it herself. Clearly having stolen every shred of style her husband ever had. Oh well.

I USED TO LOVE THIS AD!

This is an ad for the Vauxhall Corsa car, sounds rubbish, but it had all the biggest supermodels in the world in it. This one is for Fidel and me. I'm Christy, he's Naomi, obviously.

When Naomi Met Tyra.....

...But with a bunck of fierce editing. This is really funny.